Thursday, August 10, 2006

My adventures in putting the laws of attraction to work

Or, in other words, how I ended up getting hit in the mouth and crying when I saw my daughter cry in karate.

I've been working on being positive, believing in the good and possible and manifesting them.

One great area for this is karate.

I'm a brown belt and it's rough being a brown belt because one is a brown belt for a long time and you never feel as though you're getting better; only seeing just how bad you really are.

I've considered quitting, but I don't generally quit.

So, today, with the laws of attraction in my mind, I went into the advanced training thinking, "you are good, just have an open mind and learn and most importantly, do not let anyone intimidate you."

I pull into the parking lot and see Jo's jeep. I'm thrilled knowing my daughter is going to be there, but I'm afraid of her. I see her jeep and supress the fear, I choose to be happy Jo's at karate. I'm a bit afraid of my 16 year old daughter, Jeanette as well. Jo is a Sandan (3 degree,) and Jeanette is a Shodan (first degree,) blackbelts, that is. They're pretty good fighters.

So, the class is going well. I keep remembering to have good posture, use my hips, Jo says I need to finish each move, I go through kata, Sensei tells me to use my hips.

Everything is fine until the end of class. I'm the only one who hasn't fought and Sensei wants Jeanette to have another round because she's going to Nationals in Alaska.

I'm afraid of Jeanette, sometimes Sensei jokes that he's not making me fight one of my kids, but not tonight.

So I decide I'm going to manifest the laws of attraction and not be fear, not be timid, but actually *hit* her and use technique.

We're having a pretty good fight, and I score a punch and get a point. We go on some more and she gets me in the face at the same time I get her in the gut. Sensei says neither technique is strong enough and Jeanette will need to use stronger technique if she expects to get points at Nationals.

So, I go in for a punch and she pops me in the mouth.

I see stars, and Sensei stops the fight.

That was the end of class and we bow out, Janice (a doc.) checks me out but there's no blood. It hurts like hell for a few minutes, but Sensei said it was the best he's seen me fight. I'm a bit weepy from seeing stars, but I look over and Jeanette is crying and Jo's in tears and I fall apart. I don't think I can fight my own daughter, I thought I had hurt her, but she was frustrated with herself (Sensei said he would have given me the match,) but, I realize, no matter what I do, I'd lose, I don't want to hit her in the face because she's my beautiful teenaged daughter, I usually won't get the opportunity and lose because she's my much quicker teenaged daughter. If I win a fight, she's lost, no matter what I lose.

So, one more important lesson here, don't get into a fight you have no hope of winning.

But it was worth getting hit in the mouth to hear Sensei say something nice about my karate.

Even if I die a brown belt.

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